Choosing your words carefully gets the right message to your kidsBy Katherine Dedyna, Canwest News Service
When Barbara Small was a chubby little girl, she hated the way other kids teased her. Her mother, trying to help, responded: "Well, if you lost weight, they wouldn't tease you."
"Her intention was positive...it was for me not to be teased or hurt," recalls the Victoria-based counsellor. "What I heard in my head was, 'It's OK for them to tease me and there's something wrong with me and I've got to fix it.' "
"Her intention was positive...it was for me not to be teased or hurt," recalls the Victoria-based counsellor. "What I heard in my head was, 'It's OK for them to tease me and there's something wrong with me and I've got to fix it.' "
Despite the sky-high pile of parenting books, advice websites and changing child-rearing norms, Small is convinced that "a whole lot of kids" aren't getting the message of healthy self-esteem because their parents didn't learn it. "They're parenting the way they were, healthy or unhealthy."
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