Guest Post - Some Education Humour

Roxane sent this in and thought it was something everyone might enjoy, I wonder if Mr. Barkley has a collection like this.

These are apparently real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.
Spellings have been left intact.

• 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today Please execute him.
• 2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
• 3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
• 4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
• 5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
• 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
• 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
• 8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
• 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
• 10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
• 11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the shits.
• 12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
• 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
• 14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
• 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
• 16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
• 17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
• 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
• 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
• 20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
• 22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor
• 23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headacheand upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night